As we approach another valentines day love is in the air, or at least in the advertisements. Whether you are a hopeless romantic or don’t believe in love, chances are you are being bombarded with the million ads and stereotypical shoulds and shouldn’ts.
But one thing we often fail to see is what love actually is. It’s not flowers, it’s not sappy feelings, or even physical attraction.
You see, there are certain feelings and attraction that draw people together, but inevitable those things fade with time. It’s a normal part of life that the emotional high will hit an all time low. It happens….but that is not the end of the story.
In fact, it’s just the beginning. Love is an interesting thing. There is a reason on your wedding day you stand and make a covenant before God and other people. Why? You already know you love the person right?
You make that commitment because when you do hit those times that are “for worse,” and “in sickness” love is not a feeling anymore, it’s a decision, those vows help us to remember that.
There are times in your relationship you won’t feel like loving who you are with. There will be things that you do to each other to hurt each other, unintentional as they may be, they will still hurt.
But choose to love. Through the good, and through the bad. Through the smooth days, and the lightning storms. You will find that by choosing to love, even when it is really hard, you will become closer and even more in love.
Love is sacrificial, it’s not all about you. It’s not about feeling good all the time. Sometimes you will feel like crap, but still strive to love. It’s not about you, make the other person feel like they are the only person in the world. Regardless of whether it is easy.
Remember that no one is perfect, think of the screw ups you have done. Offer grace.
I think one of the biggest pitfalls we get into is thinking that we would just be happy if we were with someone else. Then we find that once we are with that person, we are back to being miserable again. This is because the problem isn’t someone else, the problem is in ourselves. We have a lot of selfishness and wants that in order to experience true and lasting love, we have to let go of our wants sometimes.
Love may not always be fireworks like the media and advertisements may try to fool you into thinking, but it can be more rewarding than anything you’ve ever known.