Have you ever had a friend who was dating or married to someone and you think to yourself, “I don’t know what he/she sees in the them?” We tend to gravitate towards how one person’s lack may bring the other down, and so lead ourselves to believe that they are not good for each other.
But what if we approached this whole viewpoint differently.
You see we are very focused on us when it comes to relationships. What can I get out of this, how does this person benefit me?
The ago old, “what’s it it for me” question. But this isn’t the question we need to be asking.
Instead what if we approached our significant other with the mentality, “what can I give to this person? What can I do that will make them stronger, will make them thrive?”.
You’ve probably heard it said many times how the greatest joy we can get is when we give to someone else. It’s true. And yet when it comes to our relationships, we don’t view it that way. Instead we view it the opposite.
We come in with this crazy expectation that our significant other is going to fulfill every last need, and if they don’t then they are just not the right person.
But this is bull. We have to approach our relationships with the mindset, “what can I offer, even if I never get anything back, what can I give.”
That and only that will truly bring change to your relationship.