When You Don’t Want To

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Sometimes it’s really hard being a strong person.  It can mean a lot of sacrifice a lot of heartache, and a lot of worry. People often think you have it all together, but that’s not the case at all. The same worries, struggles, and fears play havoc in our minds too.

We mainly just do a better job of not allowing those things to come out, because we can’t, or at least feel we can’t and keep up our countenance.

It’s important thought to have someone in your life who you don’t have to be a rock to. If you are married this should be your spouse, if not find someone, a friend, a mentor who can pour life into you, and listen to your worries and stresses.

Having this support will not make you weaker, but rather make you stronger.

The Hard Days

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Have you ever had one of those days where you wish you could hide in bed all day? Sooner or later we all have one of those days.  We don’t really feel like going to work at the crack of dawn, we’re tired of our diet, or our exercise program.  We feel worn out, tired.

There’s one thing that really helps on days like this.  My wife and daughter.  Somehow they are more than enough motivation to be strong another day.  To work hard, to do my best to be honorable.

Sure that doesn’t mean every day I have it all together.  In fact rarely if ever is life all together.  Each day has its challenges, its hardships, its battles we must fight.

Don’t be afraid to be weak some days.  It happens.  Sometimes you do need to come home and take a nap, sometimes you do need a break and just rent a movie and chill with your friends, your loved one, or your spouse.

In fact it’s these simple pleasures that we find in those we love that make the hard days worth it.

Seeing The Best

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It’s really easy to be judgmental.  Whether it’s social media, the news, our coworkers, there always seems to be someone doing something that we disagree with, or don’t think is right.

But that is okay.

What makes us all unique is our difference in opinions.  So what if our friend doesn’t see things the same way as us?  So what if our family member, likes this and we like that?

See the best in people, even if you don’t agree with what a lot of things they do, find something you can praise them for, find something to encourage them in.

Another thing that tends to be common is if we don’t argue our side of it then we think we are giving in to their viewpoint.  This is crazy!  Arguing a point isn’t going to make them change their mind, it’s just going to make both them and ourselves mad.

It’s okay to agree to disagree, respect people, respect their viewpoints, yes even if you disagree with them.  To them, their viewpoint is just as valid as your own.

The Problem Is Me?

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It’s really easy to blame people.  And if we don’t blame them, then it’s really easy to make an excuse why what they are saying is totally true.  “but you don’t understand…”

It’s so easy to fall into this.  We want to save face, we want to do good.  We can’t be perceived as weak, fragile, or as being in the wrong.  We have to be strong and perfect.

Um, no.

First off being perfect is impossible, second, when we try to act like we are, we usually end up just being a jerk to those around us. When we try to be perfect, and try to uphold that we end up pushing those close to us away,

We end up hurting the ones we love because we become so focused on how we must be right, that we stop taking into consideration we might be wrong.  We get puffed up, and pride sneaks in.  It takes over and before we know it, we have become the “me-monster”.

Admit that you are not the greatest thing to walk the earth, admit when you fall short and fail.  It’s okay, we all have our moments.  Ask for forgiveness, forgive yourself, and learn from your mistakes, then move on.

You will be amazed how much more helpful this is, then trying to pretend you are right to begin with.

Social Media Is Our New Girlfriend

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We have a tendency to lose ourselves in social media from time to time.  We forget that real life and real relationships are all around us.  We lose ourselves in trying to find out what all our friends have done today by reading their posts, rather than getting coffee with them.

We have a tendency to create our Facebook face, the parts that only the world can see, and hide all the parts we are ashamed of.  It’s easier, in a friendship you have to be real in order to maintain a strong friendship.  In social media you can be fake.

Sometimes we need to unplug.  When you come home after a long day work you don’t need to run to your laptop, you need to connect with your family, your significant other, or whoever you share your home with.

Don’t just post a status telling your friend you are thinking about them, call them up, set up a coffee date, go do something fun with them.

Social media has literally become like a girlfriend or boyfriend for many of us, and sadly at the expense of the important people in our life.

Social media is good, but don’t put it in a place it doesn’t belong.

Keeping It Real

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Sometimes it’s really easy to put on a fake face.  To act like everything is so good, when in reality we feel like crap on the inside.  We keep up our “facebook”, or “instagram” face that the world sees, and hide the real us.

We all have short-comings, so why are we so afraid to show these?  Maybe it’s you, maybe it’s a friend.  You know there are deep hurts, pain going on, and yet the smiley selfies seem to come with a new sense of frenzy.

Dying on the inside while keeping up a plastic smile will never help you to overcome.  There are times when you have to move through things and can’t just wallow in your sadness or pain, but you also need to admit that you are having problems while working at moving through them.

Don’t worry about people judging you, some will, but just know they are not true friends.  It will also open up new friendships.  Most importantly it will give you a new sense of freedom, and true peace. No fake musings.  Give it a go, and keep it real.

Back From The Wild

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So I’m back from the wild.  It’s both good and sad to be back.  Nothing like cutting yourself off from the world every now and then and going and living an adventure.

The hike did not all go according to plan but what adventure does?  Due to some mis-turns, and poorly marked trails the hiking group I was with ending up hiking in the dark for about four hours.  I had never hiked that far at night, and actually it was pretty fun.

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Another fun part was attempting to ford the Buffalo River.

All in all we had a blast, got some sore feet, and some great memories.

It’s amazing how entertaining some good friends and nature can be without a computer, cell phone, tv, or internet.

There were times when I think we all asked ourselves “why are we doing this” especially the second day after hiking 14 miles up some serious climbs.  But it’s the pushing on that brings such satisfaction, the knowing you conquered it, and didn’t let the pain get the best of you. . .

This applies to all of life.  I will leave you with the final picture from the hike.  We were tired, but we had won.  Don’t ever let life beat you into the ground, push through the pain and come out victorious with a story to tell.

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We All Could Use Some Fun

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Life is crazy.  It’s busy, it’s hectic, it’s stressful, and that’s before breakfast.

Amidst all that we could all use some fun once in awhile.  I don’t think the importance of this can be stressed enough.  Laughter and fun can turn even a bad day into a good day.

It changes up the routine and sometimes when we start to get edgy with our loved ones or friends, it’s a sign we need to do something fun together.

Take a break once in awhile from conquering the world, and take some time just to enjoy yourself, your family, your friends.

Plan something for this weekend that is solely for the purpose of having a good time.  You will come back to your next week renewed, and better charged to go back to conquering the world.

 

Living For Me?

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It’s easy to live for ourselves. I mean, we have a lot of problems right?  We have to solve them.  Other people don’t understand what we are going through. We have it worse off.

In honesty?  These things are not true.  Sure we may be going through something difficult.  But everyone is.  Everyone has to fight battles every day.  None of those battles look the same.

It’s really important to remember that just because we don’t understand what someone else is going through, or because we are really weighed down with our own, that doesn’t give us the right to act like we want.

We are supposed to help others, not hinder.  I myself am very guilty of this. It’s like I have blinders on and don’t see the reality of the hurt going on around me and can get so focused on my own problems.

But it’s so crucial that those blinders get taken off.  We’ve got to learn to care more about others, learn to listen more than we talk, and give more than we get.

So Selfish!

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I am discovering something as of recently that I honestly wish wasn’t true.  I am discovering I am selfish.

I spend a lot of time thinking about myself, of thinking what bad things are going on in my life.

It’s an unhealthy and debilitating thing to be selfish.

I don’t want to be that way, but it takes work and diligence to break the chains of selfishness, because it likes to hold on and not let go and yell at you how right you are, when in reality you are wrong.

I don’t want to be selfish, but I can’t snap my fingers to make it go away, and me saying that doesn’t make it go away, it takes me deliberately choosing unselfish actions, again and again and again, until it is habit, until selfishness dies completely.

It’s a work in progress.