What Do You Want More Than Anything?


What do you want more than anything?  Is is a spouse?  A dream job?  A certain amount of money?  To be a famous actor/athlete/singer?  We all have deep rooted dreams, that we want to see happen, but we also let reality get in our way.

Reality tells us that we need to have a fall back plan in case our dream doesn’t come true.  While this sounds logical and safe it’s a bad idea.  Now before you go selling everything you have and moving to your dream city, take a few things into consideration.  If you have a family then you have some responsibilities.  Your family needs to eat, needs a roof over their head, and has needs.  I’m not saying be irresponsible.  What I am saying is don’t settle for second best.

Because when we have lots of backup plans, we tend to focus on them more than our main plan.  We tend to take focus off our dream.

So don’t have a backup plan. Do whatever you have to, to keep pushing towards your goal.  Your why is in you already, it’s been there all your life, you know what it is.  So stop running from who you are and live it, scream it, and do it.

How To Live Your Dream With Kids


I feel like this is a question a lot of people ask, how do you pursue your dreams once you have kids?  Is it possible to do it and not neglect them? Should we give up on them?

This can be a very hot topic of debate among people, and everyone has their own perspective on this.  I think that we can and should pursue our dreams when we have kids.  My wife and I lead very busy lives.  I work full time, go to school part time, am a reservist in the US Navy, blog, and have a 3 year old.  My wife is in grad school, runs her own business, and creates online courses for entrepreneurs.

Our lives can be hectic at times, but we are doing what we love. Our child is no stranger to meeting new people, going new places, traveling and being adventurous.

I don’t think there is any way to better teach your children how to achieve greatness and live their dreams than by example.  Example counts for so much more than words.  I want my little girl to grow up know that her parents chased their dreams, despite it being hard, I want her to see both the struggles and the successes, so she knows first hand that anything is within her reach if she works hard for it.

I don’t think our lives are meant to come to an end because we have kids, we’re not meant to suddenly settle into normalcy and settle into our 9 to 5 and stop dreaming.  We should want to make even more of our lives because of our kids.

So don’t let having kids stop you from still going after your dreams, and don’t let people make you feel guilty for doing so, because some will.  It’s okay, bring them along for the journey, they will learn life lessons from it.

My wife ran a half marathon this morning and my daughter and I cheered her on, I want her to see first hand us striving to be better people.  I think that is a great goal to strive for.

In My Absence


I’m sorry I haven’t posted every day like normal.  I still haven’t gotten in a routine since being in active duty, and since being back to normal life.  I’ve gotten somewhat settled back into my job and my balancing act between work, reservist life, and my family is starting to come together.  My blog suffered a bit and I missed a week of blogging.

Now that I’ve begun to get settled, I’ve started to look towards the future.  Towards my next goals, my next dreams, and the next step towards them.  It’s somewhat of a never ending job but that’s good and that’s as it should be. We shouldn’t get content with where we are at.  There is always more, always something else for us to achieve, whether it’s learning something we don’t know yet, or learning a new way of doing something.

Stay humble.  There’s always someone who is better at what you are dong than you, don’t be afraid to learn from them, and ask questions.  Grow, strive, and take more risk, more leaps of faith.  You’ve got this.

Photo credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/neil_roger/

When You Don’t Want To


So it’s been over a week since I’ve posted,far too long, and I apologize for my absence.  I got back home on Wednesday and am now reunited with my wife and daughter.  Eight months of living 9 months apart is over as I trained in the military. Instead of seeing my family only through Skype I get to see them and be with them each day.

I am  not going to lie while I was away it was painful.  We had strains and we had bad days both me and my wife.  It’s rough living apart for that long.

But it’s over. Eight months ago it seemed like this day would never come.  When I left home in January it seemed like September was years away.

Two things I realized through this experience.  One is that pain is temporary.  Yes it sucked some days, but all in all, it’s a very short time and flew by and the benefits and reward will far outweigh the short amount of time we both sacrificed in order for me to go through this life changing experience.

If you are debating making a tough decision just remember it is temporary, it will pass, and you should go for it.  Don’t live with regrets and should haves.

Next Steps


Sometimes taking a new step can be scary.  Eight months ago I left home, left my wife and daughter in order to pursue something that would better all of us.  It’s been difficult. Being away for that long from my family is not the easiest on either me or my family.  But we knew it was what was best.

Both my wife and I believe in going hard after your dreams, going boldly towards things that many just talk about.

While that sounds awesome, the truth is that often when we take steps towards dreams and goals, it’s not a pretty journey.  Sometimes the way is paved with thorns, and mountains that seem to climb without ceasing.

We are nearing the end of our time apart, with just over a week to go.  It’s been a long journey, and a tough one, but looking back, we wouldn’t do it any different. We would still chase our dreams, and strive to go after things that seem bigger than ourselves.  I cannot wait to be reunited with them.

Eight months ago it seemed like this approaching day was out of sight, and now it’s within reach.  It was eight months that were very hard, but at the same time, if we hadn’t chosen this, we would both question forever if I had missed an opportunity.   Neither of us want to live a life of question or doubt.  And so with this chapter done, I head home soon, and begin a brand new one.

Chase your dreams.  Go after them.  The journey can suck sometimes, but it’s worth it in the end.

What’s love Got to do with it?


Love…we get the concept of this confused a lot. It’s not a matter of sending flowers on valentines day and getting our birthday sex. It goes a lot deeper. It’s daily sacrifices, choosing to put someone else above yourself. That’s easier said than done when you grow up and live 25 years before committing your life to someone. Each person brings in a lot of baggage, a lot of hurt, a lot of habits to a marriage. It takes learning what to let go of in order to bring cohesivness. It takes caring, taking the extra time to find out how the other person is doing, even when you don’t feel like it. There aren’t always fireworks, and during those times it’s super important to make decisions that increase both of your loves for one another.

It’s digging in and saying, I’m not feeling it right now, but I made a committment to you and that means more than my fluctuating feelings.

It means faithfulness, not just sexually but emotionally. We live in culture that parades sex and nudity around like it’s nothing. That doesn’t lead to good things. You have each other, that should be enough. Avoid things with excessive exploitation of other people.

Crush on your spouse, not ideas of movie stars or musicians. They are just people with their own faults and flaws like everyone else, and you don’t have a relationship with them.

Guard your love. Guard it fiercely, not in the crazy jealous sense, but in the “you have my love, and don’t have to worry about anything” sense. Keep your word. If you mess up or hurt your spouse, make amends, don’t play the “I’m right, they’re wrong” game. Fess up when you screw up.

It’s not a secret formula, it’s not based on whether you are compatiable, you obviously are or you never would have hooked up in the first place. Stick it out, and throw yourself all in. Don’t go half hearted in, but stay true whether you feel like it or not. It’s worth it.

Misplaced Priorities


If you are like me sometimes you get your priorities mixed up. It happens. So how do you find out your priorities?

What are your resonsibilities? Are you single, in college, working, striving towards a goal? Do the best you can. Don’t settle for being an average employee, do the best job you possibly can, without being asked.

Are you in college? Strive to get good grades, work hard.

Are you married? Marriage takes work, you wouldn’t expect to buy a business and have it run itself, same with marriage, it needs daily maintenance. Don’t overlook small things in your marriage. A kind word, a thoughtful note, a snack left for your spouse, a randome I love you text can mean the world sometimes, and reminds us that our significant other is thinking about us.

Do you have kids? Nurture them, spend time with them, but also lead them. Don’t let them waste their lives in front of LED screens, there is a lot more of life for them to experience, this takes doing it yourself. Lead by example, get out of the house with your kids. Get them involved in sports, art, dancing, gymnastics, weight lifting, extreme sports, whatever their interest is. Bring them alongside you. Don’t revolve your life around them, but rather bring them alongside you into your world where they can experience all the things you do in life.

Look for ways to help people throughout the day, whether it’s something small like holding the door open for someone, or taking a minute to genuinely ask how the cashier checking you out is doing. We all need support, we all need kindness. It builds us and strengthens us to be and do more.

To Those In Your 30’s


       Thirties can be a dreaded time by some. For some it’s the first time you feel like an adult, for others it feels like accomplishing your dreams are over. For some it means the wild days are over and it’s time to live a normal life.
          First let me tell you what 30’s is not then we’ll talk about what it is.
           30 is not the end.  30 is not the time to sit on the couch watching football in your suburbia house with your 2.5 kids.
         30 is not the time to stop exploring and stop being adventurous.
         30 is not the time to quit dreaming.
         30 is not the time when your kids are your sole goal in life.
         30 is not the time when pinterest crafts and decorating your home to look like something out of a magazine should be your goal.
        If anything your 30’s should be a time to live life even more bolder than before.  Your kids are at an age where they need to see their parents going out and making the world a better place and building their dreams and their parents saying to them “dreams take risk, watch and don’t be afraid”.
       If you are in your thirties now is the best time to get in shape, to build your busineas, to go back to school, to work hard for your dreams.  You have more confidence under your belt more experience, more motivation.
       So many people use their family, job, or age as As a crutch to keep them from truly living.  It’s an excuse that keeps us lazy and complacent.

      Your family should be a propellant to make you want to be more for them and so that your kids will grow up seeing what it truly means to live to the fullest.
      So stop being depressed, stop playing fantasy football and fussing over coffee for hours to no end. 
      Get out there and make something of your life. Build your future, do the things you were meant to do to make this place better for you and your family and those who will follow you.
      Be more.

Be Fit. No More Excuses


Opportunity is always there it’s just a matter of you beating down  the door to get it.
   I’m now in my 30’s and I have never been in better physical shape. I can run circles around some 20 year olds in the gym. On the other hand I see guys older than me who are in even better shape than I am and it inspires me.  I am constantly setting new goals and higher standards, and I don’t expect that will ever change, because I know I can always be more.

     Age has really become a crutch in our society. We think that because we are in our 20’s that life is just about sleeping around and partying or that when we are in our 30’s we should just make money have 2.5 kids and watch sports. When we hit 50 we think it’s okay yo abandoned reason for affairs or over priced cars. It’s really outrageous when you think about it.
       The truth is regardless of your age you should be fighting for something larger than yourself, striving for more.  Don’t say when you are young “I’ll get on shape when I’m older”.  And if you are older don’t think it’s too late to get in shape.
      Drop the excuses, and instead drop kick the door of opportunity and march in.

Stop the Excuses


People have lots of excuses.  Christians like to use the one that says “it’s not right timing” and “God hasn’t opened the door”.
   Parents tend to use the excuse “I have kids and don’t have time”.
    There are a million others “I don’t have the money”.  “Now’s not good timing”. “I will next year”, “I will someday”.  “If I was younger”.
   Everyone has a plausible excuse in their own mind.   But that’s all it is, a very lame excuse.
    It amazed me the things people use as excuses just to put something off.  I know because I’ve been there myself.  But I realized excuses are just lies we believe and time wasters.
  You are never going to be at a perfect place, never going to have the perfect amount of money.  You can’t go back or forward in time.  And God isn’t waiting to “open a door”.  He’s waiting for you to bust down the door.
     The world needs action not excuses. Your kids need examples of what it means to go out and conquer fears and dreams.
    You want a different life?  The only way you will get it is by working hard and making decisions that bring risk and fear.  But that’s a good thing. Overcome, bust down the door and rock it.