What Do You Want To Do? Really.

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What do you want to do with your life?  I mean really?  It’s something you’ve probably dreamt of ever since you were little.

It’s something that’s so important to each of us as individuals and yet it’s something that we probably spend very little time on.

Maybe you are at a place where you don’t really know what you want anymore.

Or maybe you know what you want but aren’t sure how to get there.

Or maybe you are on your way to what you want to do but you’ve hit some roadblocks.

Spend some time today by yourself, put on some soft music, turn the phone off, and pour a cup of coffee or tea.  Get out some paper and write down what you want in life, write down some ideas you have of getting there.

Take some time today to rediscover who you are and what you want.

It’s At Your Fingertips

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Literally the world is truly at your fingertips. We have so much opportunity in this world if we are willing to work hard for it. We can do anything we set our minds to .  We have the capability to learn whatever it is that we want to learn.

Is there that person you haven’t mustered up the courage to talk to?  Call them.  Why not?  Do you want to wonder ‘what if’ forever?

What about that country you’ve always wanted to go to?  Why not?  Get your passport, save some money and go.

Wondering if you could ever get your dream job?  Start finding out what it takes, and don’t stop at no.

Don’t lay down and give up the fight ever.  It’s at your fingertips.

Have you wanted to start that business?  Get a business plan together and go for it.

All great things take risk, they take chances, and they guts.  But you have all the necessary tools.  So go for it and take the plunge.  The world awaits.

Why Not?

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I’m sitting here in Pensacola Florida on a military base.  A year ago if you had told me I would be here I would have said you were crazy.  But life has a crazy way of going where you least expect.

I’ve been on a search for some time now of how to pursue my dreams and the military was the path and stepping stone I chose to get me to where I want to get.

A lot of people were surprised when they found out.  After all what 29 year old who is married with a child, has a great job and a comfortable job would choose to do something like that right?

I won’t lie it’s been hard, very hard at times.  Many days I miss my former life.  I miss my family, my home, and my job even.

But I have to keep the end goal in mind.  I have to remind myself why I’m doing this.  What I want to do with my life 10 years down the road and how this will get me there.

It’s not all paved with rainbows and everything doesn’t go perfectly right like in the movies.  But it’s a journey.  And I am glad I took it.  Because I’d always wonder what if.

So no matter where you are in life, I encourage you to seek out what you truly want in life, what is going to get you to where you want to be.  It’s never too early or too late to start.

Stacked Against You

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Sometimes the world seems like it’s against you. That the walls are caving in and that someone is out to get you.

In reality none of this is true. No one is out to get you. No one is making your life miserable or sad or anything of the sort.

Things just seem to want to overwhelm you sometimes. But al that is, is your brain trying to tell you to give up, to give in, because most of what we are exposed to in life is people failing and giving up. We see movies and hear inspirational stories during the olympics who have overcome insurmountable odds.

We cry when we hear these stories and think “how awesome”. But in our own lives how often do we choose the easy path? How often do we give in to tiredness, give in to our desire to eat chocolate cake, order fast food, or to binge on some Netflix show? We give into these “simple pleasures” all the time and then wonder why we aren’t making progress.

To make progress and to “beat” life, we have to be committed to the larger goal. We have to keep our eyes on the finish line and not give up the things we know are true.

To become better at something whether it’s your job, a dream you have, your physical condition, whether it’s at some skill that you want to perfect, all these things take sacrifice and hard work.

You can do it, and indeed you were meant to. So stick with it and do the things that are difficult.

The Hard Days

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We all have them. I know I have them. If you are alive you are going to have hard days. It’s just how it goes. So when you look at it, it’s not a matter of avoiding bad days, because you can’t, it’s a matter of how you approach them.
Your outlook can change a bad day into a good day.
Now I will admit I suck at this sometimes. Just yesterday I had a really bad day. Being away from my family is hard enough so then when you throw other bad things into a day it can make for a really bad day.
Amidst my bad day 2 things happend. 1. Someone pointed out something positive which checked my attitude, and 2. I talked to my wife and daughter, which keep me going on. Those two things changed my attitude and changed my perspective.
I wasn’t able to do it on my own that day and some days will be like that. I couldn’t do anything to stop the bad day from happening, but different things helped change my mentality. It’s really important to remember that and it’s something I need to work on more. Focus on the good things. Focusing on the bad will not help anything, that will only bring you down. Focusing on the good is like a ladder that helps you climb out of the pit of despair.
If you need to make a list of positive things in your life. Remember the good, put up sticky notes in different places that you see ever day that talk about something good in your life. These little reminders can go a long way to bettering your attitude and to bettering your bad day.

You Shouldn’t

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It’s really easy to judge. Really easy. I do it way too much. I’m very opionated so that comes out with thinking other people’s ways of doing things are less than my own sometimes. This theory is very flawed, and judging can lead down a very dark road. If you think about it, bullying is just severe judgement that has gotten so far that it comes out in hateful ways.

Judging is something that causes us to look down on other people. None of us have the right nor the authority to look down on anyone. Looking down on others causes us to begin to lose compassion for other people. We lose the ability to see the situation they are in, we lose the ability to empathize with them, and soon when we do that enough we become desensitized to the feelings of others.

This desensitization leads to us no longer caring what we say or think about another individual.

Another form of judging comes through comparison. Normally if we do something wrong we compare it with what someone else has done and we make ourselves feel better by telling ourselves what we did is not as bad as what someone else did. This quickly leads to judgement because again, all we are doing in this is saying we are better than someone else to make ourselves feel better.

So the next time you feel like judging, think about the slippery slope it leads down and steer clear of it. Replace judgement with a sense of compassion and ask yourself how you can relate to the person more rather than judge them.

Time For You

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We live in a crazy fast paced world. Things go by at an extremely high speed, and often we don’t take the time to stop and have time for ourselves. I am a guilty of this myself. I like to get things done. My wife says I could have a month to do something, but the second I’m told to do it I jump and do it. It’s hard for me to relax if I know I have things to do.

But there are times when I have to sit back and realize that I need time to rejuvinate and pull away from the demands and tasks of life.

Even being in the military, as high strung, fast paced, and strucutred as it is, they highly recommend you take time for you each week.

The reason for this is because in order for you to be the best at something, you’ve got to be mentally sound and focused, and taking the time to recharge sharpens your focus and energizes you to do a better job at what you have to do.

So the next time you feel frazzled and are having trouble focusing on the task at hand, ask yourself if you need to pause and recharge. For you maybe this means going on a run, maybe it’s making some coffee or tea and reading. Maybe it’s a movie night with your significant other. Whatever it is, during this time, unplug and relax. Don’t be checking your phone, tablet, or laptop during your recharge time. Get away from the distractions.

You will be glad you did.

Saying No

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If there’s one thing we have no shortage of in life. It’s options. Everyday we have to make choices from the clothes we wear, what time we get up, what food we will eat, how productive we will be at school, college, or our jobs. We make decisions like where to live, what kind of apartment or house to get, what kind of car to buy, how we want our house decorated, what kind music we listen to, what type of friends we have.

It’s often very easy to say yes to things, but we have a much harder time saying no. For whatever reason saying no is something we usually try to avoid. We try to avoid it at all costs, by coming up with excuses, just going along instead, or simply ignoring it.

But “no” is a word we need to be more comfortable with. Saying no more often can save us so much heartache, pain, and misery.

There are always those times when we give in to something even if we know it is wrong simply because we don’t say know. A friend says something and rather than point out what’s wrong with it or reject it, we give in go along with it because we don’t want to seem weird or “offend” them.

But in truth by saying no to things that aren’t healthy and are not good, you often times gain respect, and become a better person and make those around you better people. If by saying no and standing your ground you lose some friends, it’s okay, they probably weren’t true friends to begin with if they don’t respect what you think.

So get comfortable with saying no. It will be worth it and far more beneficial for you in the end.

“No” is okay.

You Are Who You’re With

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We all meet lots of people in our life. Some of them are quality people and some of them are not. It doesn’t take long to hang out with someone to know what they are like. Whether or not they are someone who is going to build you up or tear you down. We’ve probably all experienced both, but sometimes it’s hard to realize those who bring you down.

Some people are subtly negative. For instance the person who looks at situations and points out the bad. The bad may very well be true that they are pointing out, but by focusing on that the good is lost, and emotions become heavy.

If you hang around that kind of behavior on a regular basis it will drag you down eventually. And it will come on you subtly as well. You won’t notice becuase it starts off very small. Little things begin to annoy you. Little things that are bad grab your attention and your words will start to follow. Just saying things like “this is pointless” etc can all lead to looking down on the world. Because the more you speak it and hear it spoken the more you come to believe it.

So be careful who you spend your time with, don’t hang around those who drag you down, find others who are positive, and maintain positivity in your own life.

So You Want To Be A Leader?

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What does it mean to be a leader? There are a lot of different answers to this question. There are tons of books, youtube videos, conferences, and websites out there that list all the answers for how to be a leader. So if there is so much material why do we hear or see so many leaders fall?

Because there is a big lack in leaders. Yes being a leader takes a lot of self motivation and discipline, yes it takes hard work. It takes being assertive, having confidence, and saying tough things at time. These are all important leadership skills. But there is one that is often lacking and can rip up the entire foundation.

Character.

Character can mean a lot of different things. But most importantly character is the knowing of what is right and choosing it every time. Not just when people are watching you. But sadly too many get so focused on their role and title that they get comfortable. They let something small slide, then something else, and before you know it, it’s like the one small pebble that started the avalanche and everything starts crumbling apart.

Now I’m not talking about making mistakes, because everyone makes mistakes, no one is perfect. But there is a difference between making a mistake and knowing when something is wrong or right and choosing not to do the right thing.

Character isn’t made in these big monumental hallmark moments. It’s made in the very small decisions every day. The little things that seem so insignificant. Small gestures, choosing to look away in the face of temptation, choosing to tell your boss the truth even if it means you might get in some trouble. Being honest with a person even if it means it could cost you the friendship, staying faithful mentally and physically despite society and many times your friends convincing you, that you don’t have to.

Character defines you as a leader not money, or the ability to sweet talk. Because sooner or later even if you have every leadership quality in the world but lack character, your walls will fall down.

So choose to make the small every day decisions that keep you focused and on track.