Have you ever had a friend who was dating or married to someone and you think to yourself, “I don’t know what he/she sees in the them?” We tend to gravitate towards how one person’s lack may bring the other down, and so lead ourselves to believe that they are not good for each other.
But what if we approached this whole viewpoint differently.
You see we are very focused on us when it comes to relationships. What can I get out of this, how does this person benefit me?
The ago old, “what’s it it for me” question. But this isn’t the question we need to be asking.
Instead what if we approached our significant other with the mentality, “what can I give to this person? What can I do that will make them stronger, will make them thrive?”.
You’ve probably heard it said many times how the greatest joy we can get is when we give to someone else. It’s true. And yet when it comes to our relationships, we don’t view it that way. Instead we view it the opposite.
We come in with this crazy expectation that our significant other is going to fulfill every last need, and if they don’t then they are just not the right person.
But this is bull. We have to approach our relationships with the mindset, “what can I offer, even if I never get anything back, what can I give.”
That and only that will truly bring change to your relationship.
You know what is a crazy thought? How many more successful ideas, businesses, and relationships would there be if people simply didn’t give up.
How many people gave up right before success?
When we are striving towards something and we keep failing, it can be easy to give up. We think that we will never make it, that our hopes and dreams are just destined to be shattered. But we can’t see what the future holds, it could be that just one more day of trying will get us to our destination.
That’s the attitude we have to have. Keep going, and keep trying. Yes you will get sick of trying. Yes you will want to quit. Yes you will question why you started in the first place.
This is NORMAL. Everyone asks these questions when the going gets tough. But what separates the successful from the unsuccessful is simply getting up the next day and trying again.
With enough perseverance anything is possible. Don’t ever, ever, ever, give up.
Sometimes we can look back at certain things and say “I wish I had (fill in the blank) sooner. We wish we could go back in time and talk to ourselves when we were younger.
This is inevitable, there will always be things that as we grow we wish we could redo. But life doesn’t allow us to redo past things.
It does allow us to start new things.
We have this amazing thing every morning….it’s called a new chance. No mistake, no slip up, no failure is final unless you allow it to be.
You have the ability to wake up and choose to live a different life. To choose to be a better person, to choose to change careers, to choose to build your business, to choose to get that degree, to choose to travel.
You have the ability. Sometimes that ability take a lot of mental preparation and thought change. Sometimes it takes a lot of hard work.
It will cost something whether mental or physical, but you have the ability. So stop living with regrets and start something new.
Is it just me or does it seem like there are a lot of people who just don’t want to grow up? Our teen years are spent mostly wasteful, lost in relationships, video games, or other activities that won’t propel us in the future. College for many is one big game for many.
Statistically more and more 20 somethings are moving back in with their parents after college.
What is going on?
Now I know there are a lot of hard working young people out there busting there butt to make a difference, change their family background, and provide a great future for themselves or their family.
But for those who are 20 or older and still wallow away your days playing video games, not working, and bumming off mom and dad…..grow up.
Being 21 doesn’t make you an adult, it’s just a number that legally allows you to do a few more things. I’ve known teenagers who were more adults than 25 year olds.
It’s all based on maturity, on ethic, and on character.
Don’t let life pass you by, work hard. Get out in the world and meet people, make the most of your life. Don’t wallow in uselessness.
Make the most of it.
The door to your future is right in front of you. It’s not locked. It simply requires you to step forward, turn the knob and step through.
Some of us though get so stuck on the doorstep. We stay stuck and stand staring at the door, sometimes for years. We stand there while we are miserable in our current job or circumstances.
Your degree plan, your job, these things are not a final death sentence. If you hate where you are at. Turn the knob and choose a different path. Step through the door. Don’t stay stuck.
We applaud heroes in movies when they step out of their comfort zone and do something noble, heroic, or daring, and yet when it comes to our own lives we let fear cripple and paralyze us. We let fear stop us from chasing our goals.
The door is waiting. You don’t have to sit around waiting to find it, or waiting for it to be built. You already know what is in you to do. Stop sulking around the doorstep, open it and walk through.
While we have to push ourselves hard to become and do what we dream of doing and being, we also have to come to terms with the fact that we are far from perfect, and never will be perfect.
Perfection actually kills you achieving your goal.
Should we strive for perfection? No we should strive for our dream and do the very best we can. We will trip, fall, look stupid, let someone down. All these things are inevitable. The choice you have to make is, when these thing happen, pick yourself up, learn from your experience and move on.
Keep running toward the goal. Don’t just give up because you’ve messed up. Every single person alive screws up at certain points, because humans are imperfect.
Again…this is okay, give yourself some grace to fail. But learn from your failure.
Don’t fail, lose hope and become a victim. Your failures are only setbacks if you allow them to be.
Everything you’ve ever thought would be so amazing to do is achievable.
What do you want to do more than anything? Are you doing it? If not how come?
We talk ourselves out of things so easily. We want to do this or that, or have this or that dream to do something, but all of our talk just ends up being empty. We fear 10not being able to see out our dream, we fear other rebuke, we fear others looking down on us for taking a risk.
But here’s to the risk takers, the death defyers, the take on any challenge people. When you lie down at the end of the day you have to know that you did what you set out to do, that you lived your life the way it was supposed to be lived. Not the way someone else said you should live. Your fight, your determination is what makes it happen.
What you want is waiting for you. All you have to do is step through that door of decision. Make the choice and go for it.
You will always regret the things you didn’t try. Live without regrets.
Our outlook affects everything we do in life. It can make us pleasant people or miserable people.
For some reason it seems easier to be an unpleasant person many days, we get to feeling sorry for ourselves, or wish things were different, and before we know it we are walking around with a storm cloud over our head and making other people miserable in the process.
It’s really simple for life to start looking up, start thinking positively. Start looking for good in things, yes you may have to search hard in some situations, but there is always something good. Give yourself daily affirmations, tell yourself what you are lucky to have (or not have).
Repeat this for a couple weeks, every day telling yourself something good in your life. Repeat the same thing throughout the day. After 2 weeks evaluate and see if your outlook hasn’t already improved.
The world doesn’t need to change…just your outlook.
We all hit times in our life when we question things that happen. We question if we are making the right choice, if we are on the right path, if we are doing good enough. We’ve all been there, and we will probably all be there again.
Questioning can be good, it causes us to evaluate what the heck is going on in our lives. Yet at the same time it’s hard because we don’t feel like we should be questioning, like we should have it all together.
But that’s just it. We ourselves can never have it all together. We are capable of some pretty spectacular things. We can set our minds, and set our wills and complete just about anything we set our minds too.
But even if we make it, even if we hit our goal, we may still question ourselves. Why? Because on our own there will always be something missing. There will always be this hole in the center of our lives.
Not to sound cliche. But without God we will always come up missing something. It’s not that we can’t do great things without him, but it won’t mean as much.
So take some time, figure out your motives. It’s okay to question. It drives us to the answers.
I can be pretty self absorbed. Let’s face it, we live in a society that teaches the most important thing is #1. Sure we may not say it in such terms, but that is the message conveyed. It’s easy to ask ourselves “what’s in it for us”, whenever we are faced with a question.
The problem with the me mentality is that it consumes us, we don’t think of anything else when we are consumed with what we can get, how we can get it, and what benefit it will be to us.
But there is something that I myself lack.
Giving to others. Giving of my time, my resources, myself.
Almost everyday I come face to face with the bleak fact that I am an extremely selfish person. I don’t want to be one, but I am. I get disappointed if I don’t get something I was hoping for, if someone does something I don’t like. Lots of things cause to disappoint because I am focused on the effect others have on me.
But my life isn’t about me, it’s about service to others, it’s about giving of myself, it’s about keeping silent when I’d rather lash out. It’s putting the way someone else feels above myself.
Do I successfully do this? Heck no. I have a long way to go, but it’s a goal.