You Shouldn’t

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It’s really easy to judge. Really easy. I do it way too much. I’m very opionated so that comes out with thinking other people’s ways of doing things are less than my own sometimes. This theory is very flawed, and judging can lead down a very dark road. If you think about it, bullying is just severe judgement that has gotten so far that it comes out in hateful ways.

Judging is something that causes us to look down on other people. None of us have the right nor the authority to look down on anyone. Looking down on others causes us to begin to lose compassion for other people. We lose the ability to see the situation they are in, we lose the ability to empathize with them, and soon when we do that enough we become desensitized to the feelings of others.

This desensitization leads to us no longer caring what we say or think about another individual.

Another form of judging comes through comparison. Normally if we do something wrong we compare it with what someone else has done and we make ourselves feel better by telling ourselves what we did is not as bad as what someone else did. This quickly leads to judgement because again, all we are doing in this is saying we are better than someone else to make ourselves feel better.

So the next time you feel like judging, think about the slippery slope it leads down and steer clear of it. Replace judgement with a sense of compassion and ask yourself how you can relate to the person more rather than judge them.

Saying No

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If there’s one thing we have no shortage of in life. It’s options. Everyday we have to make choices from the clothes we wear, what time we get up, what food we will eat, how productive we will be at school, college, or our jobs. We make decisions like where to live, what kind of apartment or house to get, what kind of car to buy, how we want our house decorated, what kind music we listen to, what type of friends we have.

It’s often very easy to say yes to things, but we have a much harder time saying no. For whatever reason saying no is something we usually try to avoid. We try to avoid it at all costs, by coming up with excuses, just going along instead, or simply ignoring it.

But “no” is a word we need to be more comfortable with. Saying no more often can save us so much heartache, pain, and misery.

There are always those times when we give in to something even if we know it is wrong simply because we don’t say know. A friend says something and rather than point out what’s wrong with it or reject it, we give in go along with it because we don’t want to seem weird or “offend” them.

But in truth by saying no to things that aren’t healthy and are not good, you often times gain respect, and become a better person and make those around you better people. If by saying no and standing your ground you lose some friends, it’s okay, they probably weren’t true friends to begin with if they don’t respect what you think.

So get comfortable with saying no. It will be worth it and far more beneficial for you in the end.

“No” is okay.

You Are Who You’re With

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We all meet lots of people in our life. Some of them are quality people and some of them are not. It doesn’t take long to hang out with someone to know what they are like. Whether or not they are someone who is going to build you up or tear you down. We’ve probably all experienced both, but sometimes it’s hard to realize those who bring you down.

Some people are subtly negative. For instance the person who looks at situations and points out the bad. The bad may very well be true that they are pointing out, but by focusing on that the good is lost, and emotions become heavy.

If you hang around that kind of behavior on a regular basis it will drag you down eventually. And it will come on you subtly as well. You won’t notice becuase it starts off very small. Little things begin to annoy you. Little things that are bad grab your attention and your words will start to follow. Just saying things like “this is pointless” etc can all lead to looking down on the world. Because the more you speak it and hear it spoken the more you come to believe it.

So be careful who you spend your time with, don’t hang around those who drag you down, find others who are positive, and maintain positivity in your own life.

Selfless

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How do we be selfless?  What does it mean to do acts of service?  Does it look a certain way?  Sound a certain way?  Or is it simply a mindset we have towards others?

In our day and age it is really easy to become self absorbed.  It’s not even intentional that we become self absorbed, but between our social media, get ahead, me first society it’s very easy to lose sight of helping other people. It’s easy to lose sight of how we truly gain in this world by giving of ourselves.

It doesn’t have to be a certain way, look or sound a certain way, it just needs to be done out of self service.  You giving of yourself to make it better for someone else.  It can be as simple as a kind word.  Going out of your way to get someone something they love.

Do a chore for someone, help someone mow their lawn, clean their house.

It doesn’t have to be any big thing, it’s just simply showing someone that you care enough to do something kind for someone else.

Be True

 

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Have you ever felt like you have to prove yourself to someone else.  You feel as if they are controlling your life more than you are. Like they have some kind of say as to what is good enough and what isn’t?

Allowing others to control our decisions and actions can be very dangerous because in the process we lose ourselves. We lose our character, and what makes us unique.

Stay original, stay true to who you are.  We can take others viewpoints, and see if there is anything we can learn from it ,but we shouldn’t just take what others say at face value without questioning their motives or whether or not they are looking out for you or themselves.

Those who truly care about you will encourage you in your pursuits, and they will ask questions that make you think rather than degrade what you are doing.

So examine those around you and cut ties with friends who may try to bring you down.

Stay true to you.

Be Who You Are

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What’s your personality?  Are you outgoing?  Are you quiet?  Introverted, extroverted?  We all have unique personalities that we develop throughout our lives.

Some personalities compliment others, some clash with others.

Some will try to change your personality.

Now before  go on, we all have personality tendencies that probably need improvement.  We all pick up bad habits in this regard in some area, and we need to control those bad tendencies.  For instance if you are an introvert, you still need interaction with humans, you need to experience life.

If you are an extreme outgoing person, you need to be able to be calm at times and have times of quiet, and be able to listen attentively to other people.

So while there are certain characteristics within your personality that may need to be stretched, stay true to the core of who you are.

If we were all introverts, the world would be a very quiet place, if we were all extroverts, we would all having a shouting match all the time.

 

Challenge Each Other

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I have a tendency to struggle with friendships.  The reason is I don’t easily allow myself to get close to people.  It’s an issue I have that I am trying to get over. One of those things where you get hurt when you are younger and so you think the best thing is just to not care anymore.

But that’s the worst thing.  It’s taken me awhile but I am realizing the importance and value of friends.  The Bible states that iron sharpens iron, and so it should be in friendship.

Now there are definitely times when you need to cut out certain friends because they are influencing you in a way you don’t need to be influenced.

But quality friends should encourage one another, should challenge each other. Should ask the tough questions.

Even Jesus had his close 12 friends. He confided in them, challenged them, and encouraged them.

So if you are afraid like me of friendship, don’t be. Healthy friends can really help grow you as a person.

 

When You Don’t Want To

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Sometimes it’s really hard being a strong person.  It can mean a lot of sacrifice a lot of heartache, and a lot of worry. People often think you have it all together, but that’s not the case at all. The same worries, struggles, and fears play havoc in our minds too.

We mainly just do a better job of not allowing those things to come out, because we can’t, or at least feel we can’t and keep up our countenance.

It’s important thought to have someone in your life who you don’t have to be a rock to. If you are married this should be your spouse, if not find someone, a friend, a mentor who can pour life into you, and listen to your worries and stresses.

Having this support will not make you weaker, but rather make you stronger.

Looking Back

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Today marks my 300th blog. It’s hard to believe.  Looking back I can’t believe how far I’ve come, and at the same time I can’t help but wonder what the future holds.

Over the last 10 months my blogs have been a personal journey for myself, uncovering things I didn’t even know about myself, fleshing out ideas, thoughts, and opinions.

I hope that I have encouraged you and helped you to question things or maybe dive deeper into something you were unsure about.  Something I didn’t expect was to dive deeper myself.  I am the same person I was when I started and I definitely was faced with some challenging issues that I wrote about.

All this is why I so look forward to the next 300 blogs to come. I am excited to share with you more, to hear your feedback, your own stories, and I am excited to see what changes will come in my own mind.

Thanks so much for following my blog, without you it would just be words.  I look forward to our next 300 together!

The Hard Days

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Have you ever had one of those days where you wish you could hide in bed all day? Sooner or later we all have one of those days.  We don’t really feel like going to work at the crack of dawn, we’re tired of our diet, or our exercise program.  We feel worn out, tired.

There’s one thing that really helps on days like this.  My wife and daughter.  Somehow they are more than enough motivation to be strong another day.  To work hard, to do my best to be honorable.

Sure that doesn’t mean every day I have it all together.  In fact rarely if ever is life all together.  Each day has its challenges, its hardships, its battles we must fight.

Don’t be afraid to be weak some days.  It happens.  Sometimes you do need to come home and take a nap, sometimes you do need a break and just rent a movie and chill with your friends, your loved one, or your spouse.

In fact it’s these simple pleasures that we find in those we love that make the hard days worth it.